It’s a common experience for parents of autistic children to find that mainstream parenting advice doesn’t always apply, and can sometimes even be counterproductive. The reason for this is that many popular parenting strategies are based on the needs and developmental patterns of neurotypical children, which can be very different from those of autistic children.

 Many parenting books focus on correcting behaviors that are seen as problematic. For autistic children, these “behaviors” are often a form of communication or a way of coping with a world that can be overwhelming. Trying to eliminate these behaviors without understanding their root cause can be distressing for the child and lead to more challenges.

 A lot of parenting advice is geared toward teaching children to conform to social expectations. Autistic children may not intuitively understand or be comfortable with these norms. Forcing them to mask their autistic traits can be exhausting and harmful to their mental health.

Parenting books often offer generalized advice that doesn’t account for the vast diversity of the autistic experience. What works for one autistic child may not work for another.